“Umm … What do you think,” said the Tarot reader, “ Umm … about what I’ve said?”
Doesn’t make you want to start talking about your personal issues, does it?
We all tend to focus on accurate predictions and delivering a coherent story. That stuff is important.
How you invite the client to interact is equally important. When it comes to prompting discussion, how you entice them into the narrative or story may make all the difference between some sharp grunts and an explosion of discussion.
Think about it: What urge grabs the client’s attentions and compels them to reveal their darkest fears? What gets them to talk about their Tarot reading? What happens when you’ve made all the predictions the spread has to offer?
Depending on how you’ve conducted the reading, there’s a good chance that nothing happens. The client mentally nods and thinks, “Good reading.” Then he or she walks out the door.
I don’t know about you, but I find this kind of situation intensely draining.
The problem
A Tarot reading that is too good, that has too much information in it, might just be the problem. A good narrative with plenty of accurate predictions (Hits) is a great Tarot reading, sure. When you present your Tarot reading with too much information, when you make the story too tight, though, you shut down the conversation.
Solution
Those who coach individuals on social skills encourage people to ask open-ended questions. Open ended questions keep conversations going. These coaches promote getting the other person to talk about himself.
People love to talk about themselves. So be interested in what another person has to say.
Now, I’m sure most of us ask our clients open ended questions (even without thinking about it). But it isn’t simply asking the question that encourages discussion, it’s also in how you show the client you’re interested.
Where can you show that interest? Where’s the best place for that open-ended question? Right after your first big hit (prediction — accurate details of present events).
Here’s an example of the problem.
The client: I’d like a relationship reading.
You: Okay. The person in question is an alcoholic ( as you say this, you notice that it resonates with the client — hit 1 ), and they frequently say one thing, but do another (you notice hit 2). However, their career depresses them ( hit 3 ), and their family interferes. I think, from a psychological perspective, that a part of the problem is due to how he sees relationships? He had a strange relationship with his Mother. Umm … What do you think umm … of what I’m saying?
Your client: Yeah. It’s fine.
You might have shown great insight, but did you show interest? Did you ask that open ended question to get the client involved? Did you encourage discussion? Not at all. You handed them an answer and shut down conversation so nicely that getting more from the client becomes almost impossible.
They’ve heard you. They’ve moved on. It’s the fine-line difference between talking at someone and talking with someone.
Bottom line, if you don’t get the client to open up and discuss the reading, there’s a good chance they won’t return for a second one.
To help show how you might try a different tactic to get those discussions going, here’s another example.
The client: I’d like a relationship reading.
You: Okay. The person in question is an alcoholic ( as you say this, you notice that it resonates with the client — hit 1 ), and they frequently say one thing, but do another (you notice hit 2). However, their career depresses them ( hit 3 ), and their family interferes. What do you think he feels about his families interference? I can tell it impacts considerably on the relationship (I often throw in a statement at the end of an open ended question to help reinforce the prediction).
Your client: Well, I’m not sure. I know there were problems between him and his Mother when he was a child, and you’re right, it does impact on the relationship. He doesn’t talk about it much and I think his drinking is getting worse. I’m worried about him. What do you think will happen with his career?
You: Things are getting more difficult for him. Particularly with his Employer. Have you tried {this is where you give the client advice} to improve things?
And so on.
So the next time you do a Tarot reading, pay attention to the story and the accuracy of your predictions — and then pay just as much attention to your client. Construct the story in such a way that encourages discussion and conversation. Get your clients involved. Learn about their experiences. Have them talk about themselves.
Don’t you think that it makes all the difference to how enjoyable an experience it is, not just for them, but for you? Yes or no, let me know.
Loading ...
19 comments… Let's discuss
Douglas -
You have a hit here!
Literally, you have hit the problem on the head – and it can be a problem. As we progress in our careers as readers, we learn to ask the questions that open up the reading, and support the Seeker. It is also important that we offer options – not just clarifying the issue/situation, but helping the Seeker to realize that there are actions that they can take to give themselves more control in their life.
Blessings,
Bonnie
Hi Bonnie,
Yes, I also think that experience teaches just how necessary questions are. I think you’re right to say that part of a Tarot readers career is the continuous development of this vital skill.
I also agree about using these opportunities to further enhance the reading. In my experience, once the conversation is flowing, it becomes easier to clarify their circumstances.
Thanks for dropping by, and I’m glad you liked the post.
Doug,
Great post.
I’ve only had experience with two live tarot readers. (the others have been through email) One reader did have me participate in the reading. The only problem was: the more information I gave, the more the reading became off to me. She seemed to be reacting to my questions and telling me what I wanted to hear.
The other did not ask questions and pretty much gave me a snapshot of what was going on in my life. She was the most accurate, but I got a feeling that she wasn’t saying something that she saw in the cards. Years later (she was a relative to my best friend) I found out I was correct. I feel that if I’d asked the right questions this would have been a wonderful reading.
Both of these occured before I knew much about the Tarot. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that a reader should be careful how she/he herself reacts to the client’s questions and information. It is important not to get off route of the reading itself, for the results could be a bad reading. I’d rather hear what the cards have to say rather than someone’s opinion, I can get opinions from friends.
I’d also like to mention that my readings are (for now) done by email. There’s not much interaction in the reading (although at the end, I encourage the client to ask any question they may have about the reading). My readings consist of a basic snapshot of the situation and advice on how they can better the situation.
Hi Cher,
Good point! I think we can all be guilty of letting the client do more of the work than is strictly necessary. When we allow that to happen, we lose our objectivity. The only reliable solution that I have found is to let the Tarot do all the heavy lifting while you engage the client to discuss the points raised in the reading.
LOL, agreed! Like I said in the article, It’s that fine-line difference between talking at someone and talking with someone.
It is more art than science. Not involving the client and just telling the client the sequence of events, in my experience, has a massive draining effect. However, if you just have a conversation and don’t let the Tarot do all the heavy lifting, you can lose credibility. It’s a fine-line!
Thank you for adding to this conversation.
love it doug! it is so true that engaging the client in conversations throughout the reading makes a world of difference–for the client and for me.
it feels cold and lonely to simply share info, share info, share info, and have the client nod quietly with a few open-eye surprise moments.
i love when we can get a rich conversation going. sometimes it is within those conversations that the client *discovers* answers…insight…healing…
thank you again doug for a wonderful post!
Hi Mzzlee,
I agree! For me, it’s only under those circumstances that working as a Tarot reader actually feels rewarding. It can energise as opposed to drain.
Thank you for dropping by
Hi Douglas,
as always a great post.
When I read for someone I ask them not to share information at the beginning.
I ask them to ask their questions or the topics they would like covered in a general spread. I also expalain that I prefer not to know much at first so that I will not be influenced in my interpretation. If I don’t understand their question I ask them to explain it farther.
As I give them their reading I check with them to see if the information I am giving them makes sense. Sometimes when I am unsure which of the meaning of the cards best suits the story that is developing I will tell them and let them share with me the one that makes more sense to them. Sometimes I ask them to look at a card. I tell them what I see in it and then ask them if they have a different view of it. I give lots of time to the client to share what they want at the end. That way I see if they got the message clearly. Sometime people hear what they want not what you are telling them. Also, when they share their details I look at the cards in front of me to see if I missed anything and if there is anything I would interpret differently with the knowledge that I now have. I always have advice positions, so that we can see how the client can if he/she wants deal with the situation. I make clear that their actions, choices, shape their present and their future. So far most of my clients have been a pleasure to work with.
This is interesting stuff, but I can’t really relate ’cause I’ve never done a Tarot reading with the person physically present. Although in the beginning of this journey, spurred by discovering “psychic” ability, I did several in-person psychic readings (at that point, I thought Tarot cards were a total crock, ha). I did very accurate readings, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever, but it drained me so much. The worst experience, brand spankin’ new at all this metaphysical stuff, ha … was reading a stranger, only knew her name (this was a class, she was not to tell me anything more than her name)… I suddenly “saw” a woman in my mind’s eye, I told her what I was seeing/feeling. I don’t remember her saying anything, but I then became overwhelmed with emotion (not mine). OMG, it was horrible, I couldn’t speak. She was waiting for me to say something, but I was trying to contain the tears. I was trying to shake it off, but even as I tried to say, “Uh, just a second,” the tears began to flow — sooo embarrassing. Anyway, it was her mother, who had just recently passed away… Kinda traumatic for the newbie reader that I was.
Other than just playing around with the cards with co-workers at my “regular” job, I only do email readings, which works perfectly for me. I invariably get awesome feedback. To me, it’s not only a distraction, and very unnerving for a super-sensitive reader, but it’s just not necessary to have their body in front of me. At least, that’s my experience. We’re all one thing, “it” is already there, the body is an illusion of separate-ness. All ya’ gotta do is focus on what ya’ want, what you’re asking to know.
I also want people to get their money’s worth, so without their jabbering at me, I can spend every moment focused on the matter at hand. No pressure, can pause as long as I wish on different cards, listening carefully to what is coming. My life path is the High Priestess (per my birthday), so the being alone thing is not really a problem. It’s inherent in my nature, and my life has been very typical of that High Priestess energy. Throughout my life, I’ve spent unusually long periods of time alone. In fact, it’s really the only time I feel truly calm. And that serenity is integral to a good reading. Fear blocks our “intuition.”
And on the rare occasion that I GET a reading from someone, I very much appreciate having a written copy, so I can go back and see how accurate they were. A taped reading just isn’t as valuable to me, and I like to give people what I would want. Like Anna, I tell my clients to save the details, just be specific in telling me what they want to know. All that input during the reading, I would think it would stoke the wrong side of the brain — too much. Not to mention the client’s often fearful sense of urgency (more energy that clouds things up) and all. Gets ya’ off track.
For a serious reading, I just wouldn’t enjoy the client being present. Now, just playing around with people ya’ know, sure, that’s fun. No unneeded pressure to muck things up
Peace,
Dove
Hi Dove,
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.
After reading the other comments, I’ve become reminded of all the different technologies that Tarot readers use when giving a Tarot reading; instant messaging, text-messages, Psychic Companies that use texts or phone lines – and there’s also face-to-face (that could be a private client, a party or a psychic Fair).
Each one of those settings is going to demand a different approach. The whole idea is interesting and not something I would have consciously considered had it not been for all the comments left, bringing this to my attention.
Douglas, I love your blog and I’ve been following it for awhile. I don’t read for anyone but myself yet (still mastering the keywords–I’ve read for 10 yrs for myself but from the booklet! Yeah I know!), but your tips are very helpful to me regardless. Keep up the good work!
Phoebe
Hi Phoebe,
I’m glad you’re enjoying the tips, and if you ever decide to start reading for others, I’d love to hear how you get on
But some clients are annoying! They just come there for a reading to see if a Tarot reader can truly see into their past, present, & future, especially read their minds, if not perform something else spectacularly paranormal. WTH. What should I do with people like them?
)
Hi Andalusia,
LOL, yes they are!
This is a simple case of the reality of being a Tarot reader clashing with the abstract theory of how to be a Tarot reader
The reality is that clients are always testing us. One part of them doesn’t believe in fortune-telling, the other part does. When they come for a reading they sit and judge us – and if we don’t impress them within a minute or so, they’re gone.
In my experience, though, reading under those circumstances is exceptionally draining. The only real solution, I’ve found, is to work on generating a discussion and change the circumstances! If you can do that then you will find them a completely different client.
Granted, we may only be able to do this with a percentage of the clients we read for. But what a difference it makes – to the Tarot reader. It’s a technique; a skill that, when it clicks into place, takes a lot of the pressure away – and energises.
Doug, I am presenting you with the Versatile Blogger Award. Please visit my blog for your award. Thank you for sharing your inspirations and journeys with me through your blog.
Versatile Blogger Award
Engaging the client has been a challenge for me on occasion, but only rarely. However, I do agree with you when you say that this is very draining! Like others in the discussion, I find that some of my most accurate readings are presented via email. In this format I’m able to focus on the messages of the cards and formulate my reading in a concise way, rather than feeling rushed to complete a reading while the queue to sit face-to-face with me grows ever longer. I like that my clients have something to refer back to time and again as they digest what I have to say, and I always take the time to provide clarification should the client need hazy areas cleared up. I’ve never once had a client say they needed clarification, in spite of the fact that prior to the reading they were a total stranger to me.
I agree also with those above who have mentioned wanting as little detail as possible from their clients, aside from the question at hand. I feel if I have too much information it muddies up the reading, as if they’re attempting to sway the outcome by giving me “pertinent” details.
There are those who wish to play “test the psychic”, I think we’ve all encountered them and I’m sure we’ll continue to encounter them until the end of days. In these cases I give the same level of insight and operate with the same level of integrity as I would for a client who sincerely wishes for guidance, and more often than not these “product testers” come away with a whole new perspective and appreciation for the art of Tarot.
When I was new to Tarot, I would get distressed over a silent seeker, until I began receiving feedback from them that I was “scarily accurate” and they really had nothing to add to the conversation because I had hit the nail on the head so soundly.
Hi Rachel,
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.
As I was reading your comment, I was reminded that there are so many different ways in which we can read Tarot cards for clients. We have face-to-face, emails, text messages, Skype, Psychic phone line companies etc. Each one of these medias demands its own approach to the client. Is the method of communicating with a client over the phone different from that via text-messages?
I think, in either case, we have done our job properly if they walk away feeling like they had a positive experience
My (brief) stint as a phone psychic was probably the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been as a reader. For one thing, you’ve got the first 3 minutes to “hook” the client in order to encourage them to purchase more time. I was encouraged to jump right into the reading and not even bother asking them their question, instead I was told to focus on the key areas clients tend to ask about (money, love, work…) in the hopes that the client would be “so impressed” that they couldn’t help but purchase more time.
On the one hand it was beneficial to me as a reader, as I was able to become more confident in my connection with the cards. On the other hand it felt like a scam because I was being encouraged to think in terms of time and money, which has never been my motivation as a reader.
The other trouble I encountered was the drain and disorientation that came from having the conversation interrupted each time the client needed to purchase another block of time. These interruptions often came just as I was really feeling the “buzz” of being connected, and it was a crap shoot of whether or not the client would come back on the line. This is exhausting! Not only for conversations that have been going for 20 minutes or more, but also for several back-to-back conversations that don’t move past the initial 3 minute mark.
I decided to get out of the pay-by-minute phone psychic ring when the same three clients would call me each day and simply wanted me to commiserate with them over their self-inflicted plights. At the rate they were paying per minute, I just couldn’t continue on in good conscience, and when they asked for my home number in order to avoid the extreme amounts of money they were shelling out, I knew it was time to find a more humane method of providing service.
Scheduling phone readings, along with reading over text, Skype, email… these are no different. The method of communication is different, but the message remains the same.
One way to get your client to interact is to invite them to have a hand in helping to design the spread you are going to use to address their particular problem – I find this helps the client to feel empowered about their reading and then they are willing to participate in the reading themselves.
Hi Helen,
Great idea. Anything that encourages the client to get involved and feel connected to the process is always exceptionally useful for encouraging discussion.