Five Of The Best, Worst Psychic Jokes

I remember being at school and really hating Mondays. It seemed to me that it always signalled the start of some type of impending doom; so to get you off to the best possible start today, I’ve put together a list of the five best, worst Psychic jokes. Let’s kill those Monday morning blues before they start and begin this week with a smile

Joke One

“I almost had a Psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.” Steven Wright.

Joke Two

Debbie visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the tarot cards laid out before her, the tarot reader delivered the bad news:

“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt – prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.

She simply had to know. She met the tarot reader’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked:

“Will I get away with it?”

Joke Three

Q: What’s the difference between a pizza and a tarot reader?

A: A pizza can feed a family of four.

Joke Four

“I can see into your future and I see you being ignored by at least 10 people in the near future!” — Actual quote from a chatroom.

Joke Five

When two psychics met, one said to the other, “You are fine. How am I?”

I hope this raised a smile. Let me know what your favorite Tarot or Psychic Jokes are? I’ll see you in the comments!

Image and Jokes from Serena Powers

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• The Best Psychic Joke In The World, Ever!
• 7 Solutions to Uncovering your Intuition!
• A Lesser Known Tarot Secret: Why Using This Can Fast Track Your Intuitive Readings, Today!
• Attitudes of Approach

Tagged as: Jokes, Psychic